My 12.12.12

The sunset near my new home

I was very excited about 12.12.12. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s the last date of its kind that we’ll experience in our lifetimes, or if I wanted an excuse to celebrate in my new home, but I really wanted to plan something special.

There was one other person I knew would back me up on my shenanigans. The only other foreign staff on the compound who is the big UN man in charge, from Rwanda, who spent his first few months here alone. He’s been happy to have someone around to talk to and comment on our new environment and culture that we’re surrounded by. So I went to his office and told him about 12.12.12.

The kids made this for my 25th

Over the next week it sort of became bigger than it needed to be, just in my own head. I was so excited to do something. It reminded me of when I was in Motta and everyone I was working with seemed to be in the doldrums – they were tired of the monotonous of the small town and nothing to do. I’m not the brightest party planner (everything half thought and last minuteJ) but I kept trying to find ways to have fun. I celebrated my birthday with a bonfire and s’mores, cake, bread dipped in balsalmic vinegar and red wine. Invited kids and friends and made toasts – that was fun. Invited my friends for a movie night after renting an American film poorly dubbed in Amharic. That was a semi-disaster but still fun to try (no one understood eating popcorn with a movie – they refused to eat it until I made the coffee, which I hadn’t even planned on making). And the girls spa day at my house – also a semi-disaster because my neighbors hated me for having too many people over but still fun. The neighbors refused to let anyone use the latrine and I added too much honey to the face masks so they wouldn’t come off. But the girls had fun anyway.

The girls at my house for spa day in Motta, Ethiopia

But what could I do in this compound in the desert in Yemen with a small group of people who refuse to interact with the opposite sex? I thought about playing the dumb ferengi card and inviting males and females alike to my little shindig. But the women would know and not show up anyway, or be very uncomfortable. And as much as spending yet another evening inside our hot little kitchen/dining area/living room room watching Turkish soaps sounded like an alright way to celebrate, I figured the guys would want to do something out of the ordinary and they are my team. I only work with 2 of the women I live with, the rest of my team are men.

I told E (Rwandan guy) about my dilemma and he said I was thinking too much about it and I should just come have a good time at ‘the white house’ (his place) and invite a few of my male staff. I decided in the end (literally the last moment) that I would bake a cake, and have fruit and chocolate and soda at the white house, invite the guys for some music and maybe t.v. and talk about 12 accomplishments or 12 somethings. By 7pm I was just finishing work and still had no flour for the cake. MJ went to grab flour from a shop in the camp while I brought all my supplies to cook in the white house. If I cooked in the female kitchen, I was afraid they would talk me into staying there with them.

So E and I are standing in his kitchen preparing the cake. We turned on his oven, operated by propane. My back was to the oven as I stirred in the eggs, and all of the sudden I heard the loudest BAM!!! I’ve ever heard at such close range. It rattled my body and left me shocked and shaking. I didn’t know what happened for a moment. E looked at me.

“Did that come from in here or outside?” (it is Yemen after all)

I quickly realized that the oven had exploded, leaving the oven door wide open.

The evening ended pleasantly. I baked the cake in the women’s kitchen, sat with the guys for some half-burned/half-mushed cake and fruit and then ended by eating a late dinner with the girls before going to sleep at 11.

With the guys, I asked them to think of 4 things they never want to do again, 4 things they want to do this year and 4 things they want in the future. We only got through 1 thing they never want to do again for each person before it was time to go. They had such great stories and the morals of them are as follows:

This has nothing to do with the story, but happened last week - adorable!

·       Make sure you’re standing in good balance in a wet shower before moving around

·       Don’t travel in Yemen without your ID and then run from security police when they catch you (he got shot at and then put in jail with a sick goat)

·       Don’t try swimming in the sea when you don’t know how and no one else around you does either

·       Don’t travel in Yemen without your ID, even if you’re Yemeni because your physical features might appear to be Chinese, causing the police to stop you for questioning

And for the women, I asked what they want to accomplish in 2013. They told me to start first so I said, “I would like to visit Socotra Island” I was amazed at their response! The women who will never even eat their lunch outside of their kitchen were rattling off how they’ve always wanted to go. They asked me to tell them so they could come with me. Wow. I didn’t expect that but sounds good to me! Now I have the couple of foreign men I know in the country to go with or these women…. Hmmmmmm… maybe both?

(As you can see I did not get any photos from these 12.12.12 events – I never remember to)

Eating Without Things

Imagine you’re with a group of friends and you want to go to a restaurant near by. There aren’t any taxis around, and you don’t have a car, so you all decide to walk.

Turns out there is only one restaurant in the entire area. When you walk in, you find a bustling kitchen attached to large, empty room. There are no tables or chairs. You discuss for a while and decide to stay.

There are no menus and you don’t speak the language, but your friends do so they order for you. You take a seat cross-legged on the floor, and soon a large metal plate filled with food is set on the floor in front of you. The meal is rice mixed with pieces of canned tuna and spices, with a small bowl of pepper sauce on the side.

Everyone sits around the plate and begins eating. There are no forks or spoons, and possible you could request one and they may even have one… but you don’t want to be the odd one out. So you follow as they do: pour some sauce over the rice and fish.




Scoop a small amount into your palm and then shift it towards your fingers, squeezing it into a small ball.






Lifting your thumb underneath it as a prop, you shovel the small ball of rice, fish and sauce into your mouth. Viola. So easy.

This is every meal here. Spaghetti is really fun and takes a bit more skill, wrapping the long noodles into your palm. It is so fun to learn to live without using so many things. In the western world, we have things to do everything for us. A broom to sweep the floor; a contraption that cleans the broom which sweeps the floor. A table to place food on and then chairs to go with it. And so many dishes- a separate plate and utensils and cups for everyone. A machine to wash the dishes and endless brands of detergents in different forms to clean them.

I’m happy that we’ve come so far as to have so many inventions which help keep our spaces more  ‘civilized’, faster, cleaner, etc. but I am so thankful for the opportunity to experience life in its raw form. Simply humans providing food and then consuming it and sharing everything. It’s not only refreshing, but it makes people more dependent on one another, more closely connected to people around them.

And the bathroom experience? Well, I won’t go into too much detail, but let’s say you walk into a bathroom to discover the toilets won’t flush paper and there are no trash cans in sight... when in Rome, I say, when in Rome.

Gone Fishing

My boss suggested we go to the beach for the afternoon. We took 4 of the office guys, him and I (none of the women would think of coming). We rented a car and within 25 minutes arrived in the little fishing village of Khorameda. It was a few buildings with a trash-covered beach, including many dead creatures... a dog, a puffer fish, a bunch of dead star fish, little fish and other random things.

We tried finding a boat but everyone was on lunch. Finally a guy said,"Okay, I will take you but not for payment." He refused taking any money (I made the joke that instead he would be taking people, haha). Out aways in the boat we hit a giant spread-out beach area and he let us off there. No one made concrete plans for him to return for us, each thinking someone else would take care of it.

Immediately we saw a flock of flying pink flamingos! Then we saw a dead dolphin, 2 dead stingrays... I think the reason all these things are dead is because they get washed up onto the beach and can't get back out, die in the sun.That's my guess. After wandering for a while we hit a 'pool' (what is it called, when there is ocean water trapped in a giant pond with beach all around? An enclave? Nooo...) I asked if it was alright to remove my balto (long black covering dress) - everyone was fine about it and no worries because no one else was near in sight. So there I was, naked. Haha kidding, of course I was wearing pants and a t-shirt under, and that's what I swam in. We swam for almost 2 hours. It was so beautiful - not too hot, warm colorful water - no one was around but us. A couple of the guys had never been in water like that, had no idea how to swim or float. They loved it. As we headed back to our docking area, we realized there was no way for us to get hold of the boat, and we didn't know when they would come.

After hanging around talking about being stranded on the island and discussing who we would eat first, we saw a boat in the distance. We waved our arms like crazy but it passed us. Convinced we'd be there for a while, I went off to one end of the island to meditate for a moment. I saw a boat zooming close with a few Somali men on it. I got this silly thought that if they wanted, they could quickly pull up to the shore, snatch me and take off before the guys could come after me. So I got up and ran, just to be safe.

That same boat followed around the edge of the island and docked. They were coming back from a fishing trip and said they would take us gladly but no of course, we could not pay - they wouldn't allow it.

Their boat was filled with all kinds of fish - mostly boring kinds but also a lot of barracuda. We started pawing through for the best ones(and taking silly photos with them) and finally chose 6 meaty barracuda. We asked our Yemeni friend, to negotiate the price for us. As we docked to the side of Khorameda, the Yemeni owner of the boat came to us. He heard us offering our price and said "Laa!" He told us to take them for free. Of course we protested and even the Yemeni guys with us said, no way we have so much, we have to pay something! Then the boat owner did this flick of his hands to his chin.

When he did that, all the Yemeni guys said no, we cannot pay him, stop. The flick to the chin meant it would be shameful to us to pay and it is a 'final word'. So we walked away from the shore, now filled of Somali and Yemeni men, all waving us goodbye with our 6 barracuda.Then an old man came to us and they exchanged a bunch of words. I wondered if he was asking for us to pay for something. Turns out he was the sheikh of the village (like the most powerful man, in charge) and he was welcoming us and told us to return anytime, and we could even come to his home. We declined the home visit and went on our way to the village restaurant, where they cooked up 4 of the barracuda for us right then, and we ate a feast.

Can you imagine the kindness!!? So amazing! When we returned to camp, I brought back one of the fish to the women, and they were very excited. We cut it up and spiced it right then, put it in the fridge for tomorrow's lunch. Then they taught me to how make the special Yemeni bread, khobs, and khalas, now I am here on the internet. So so cool. If I could do that every weekend, man oh man... If only I could get the women to come with me.