The Binat

Bint = girl

Binat = girls

There are currently 11 binat living in the closed women’s compound, which is within the larger work compound. The guys also live within this larger one, but their rooms are scattered throughout and not enclosed like ours are.

The binat are a mystery to me. When I arrived, they were so kind to me, and I felt like a she-male, in that I could take part in all the men’s activities (lunch, sports, walking freely outside, etc.) but I was still one of the women. The binat are very protective of one another, to make sure that in such a place like this, without their families, that they are still upholding the strict Yemeni gender expectations. A typical Yemeni family would need a lot of reassurance in order to let their daughter, sister or wife come live in a camp setting like this. They’ll be under no supervision! Imagine the things they might do! They are unprotected, out in the wild, with all those men living close who are not their family. Oh, the bad things that could happen.

Rarely do they allow photos... guess which one is me?

For this reason, they are extraordinarily strict: They always eat inside the binat compound, they are covered when they go out, and some remain covered at all times - others take off the nicab once they’re safe inside their offices. They do not interact with the men at all, save for office activity or a rare goodbye celebration inside the office.

This is as close as I'll get to showing you the black baltos they wear

But I learned a new aspect of this today that astounded me. There is a Somali wedding in the camp tonight and the norm here is for the women to be invited to the big rec center, and the men congregate in the men’s center. The rec center is a 3-minute walk outside our compound and into the camp. I asked the women who was coming with me and they paused before discussing who would ask permission. … … Hold up. What? What permission?

“Because it is after dark,” they say, “We must have permission.” From who? “Well, it would typically be from our father, older brother, or from our husband if we’re married. But since we are here, the responsibility lies with our managers. What if something were to happen to us? Someone has to be held responsible!” I see… (mind you these are grown women, ranging in age from 19-38)

“And what if your manager was female or foreign?” Besides me, all the other managers are Somali or Yemeni males.

“As long as he is male they can give permission. But if she is female, we must ask someone else in her place.”

I found it so interesting the nonchalant way in which they explained this to me. They even made a joke that when I return to America and marry, I will ask my husband for permission, he will become surprised and ask why and I will tell him, “I learned this tradition while in Yemen!” [Clap twice if any of you who know me see this happening]

Completely veiled but she forgot her gloves

One girl explained to me later, “There are times when we have thoughts about this, about why it is this way and what is right. But often times we do not think about it at all, because this is our tradition and we want to carry on tradition.” Okay then, fine, no qualms here I guess.

As for me, I also have to get permission from a man to go tonight. The UNHCR field officer is the focal point for security and any foreign staff (aka me, being the only one) needs to inform him if they want to leave the compound after dark, in case there are any security problems. So I guess in this context, we are the same and I should accept my fate as a woman here. However, it’s still pleasing to know that if the UNHCR field officer were female, it would be her that I asked. Hmmm, at least I think so.